I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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