I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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