I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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