Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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