He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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