Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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