Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
