the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i would punch a child for taco bell
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
