so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
