i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
