There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
