I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
