my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize