One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
