Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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