She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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