I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
