I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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