I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
