Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
