If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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