HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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