I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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