I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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