Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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