I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
birth control should be required to get into college
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
