If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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