then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
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I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
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its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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