So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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