I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
