so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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