My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
