I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Randomize
