I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
