Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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