Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
