her vagine was all disorganized.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
