Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
