Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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