singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
why do cheetos always look like penises
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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