You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
