Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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