i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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