I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
