I will die if light touches me.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
