i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
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Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
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I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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