I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
