It's like God shit irony all over that family
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
