I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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