Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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