Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
