it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
