he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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