we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
