I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
