Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
