why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
