is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
