who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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