How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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