I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
